Why God? us women ask ourselves as we contemplate why most men seem stuck in their adolescent years, Why does this have to be true?!!
Really though, this isn’t fair to us women.
In fact, it’s quite nearly some sick, cosmic joke.
Random
“Invisible Wings” by Janell Rhiannon [[book review]]
Okay so I really just wanted to say this is one of the best books I have ever read, an is now an official favorite of mine. That’s saying a lot coming from me.
I don’t read books twice, because once the story is over, then I’ve had enough. But this is worth reading a million times more; I now have a favorite books list containing 6 novels, including this one.
I found it in iBooks, where I was actually hurting down a different book, which name now escapes me, and this cover drew me in.
I didn’t even read the description summary, but I felt that I needed to have it. Lucky me, it didn’t cost even a penny, which only added to my curiosity as to why I was so drawn to it.
Read it for inspiration for happiness & existence in life. It’s beautiful. The chapters are more like short stories, giving you the ability to read a chapter just when you have a bit of spare time to squeeze in, so you don’t have to keep reading or look bak at the previous chapter for reference if you haven’t cracked it open recently.
Invisible Wings by Janell Rhiannon.
Yes, I know I’m back; Shocking right?
Well then.
I know I haven’t been writing anything since, uhm, let me see here…July?
Oops.
Yes, I am ashamed…Good news though, I am back and ready to post!
A lot has been happening (okay, more like not happenings the way it’s supposed to; ugh), therefore I have been overly preoccupied to do anything other than the things that needed attending to.
But, do not fear! My brunette-self is back and ready to post the heck outta this blog! (No, no; I won’t be flooding this thing with posts that much, so really you’ll be able to keep up.)
And you want to know what else? Now I’m actually adding poems more so than random posts. Which only makes complete sense, considering that’s why I made this blog in the first place. Haha….okay not that funny but whatever; I have a quirky sense of humor. Then again, you might not remember because I’ve been off the radar so long. *eyeroll*
Announcement: I am currently working on three four generally interesting ideas.
Of course, for any of them to work I’d need a computer.
Which I don’t have.
Go figure.
But computers costs money. Which I don’t have.
Go figure…again.
Kickstarter campaign anyone?
Yea, that’s was my first idea after about 10 minutes of sulking at the realization.
Back to the ideas: first off, I’d like to first off make a book of poems I’ve written as sell it in the Amazon Kindle store. All the poems are mostly written out, but I would need Microsoft Word and the desktop Kindle website to do it.
I got the idea while perusing none other than the Kindle store, in which I found a book entitled “Building Your Book for Kindle.”
I saw the title and an idea came to me, like a light bulb in a pitch back room: “Why not make a book of my poems as a Kindle book?”
I frequent the Kindle store often, in search of anything that sounds remotely interesting and free because I’d hate to waste money on a crappy book that I’m not going to read more than once, or maybe not finish at all…especially since the only books I read more than one time are my absolute favorites.
And besides, there are some interesting free books there if you know what website to go to for the lists of them.
I felt like I should’ve thought of this brilliant idea way earlier, and felt like kicking myself for another lack of insight.
Well, at least I had brains enough to stumble on that book, which I read and highlighted and noted in every place that seemed proper. Just doing that, I have the whole introduction set up with what I want it to say, so all I have to do is finish writing out poems and then all I would be required to do after that is send myself an email of the typed and edited poems, borrow a computer, slap it in Microsoft Word (thank you Bill Gates, for that and only that; otherwise please do not interfere with technology further, for you have irrevocably and horribly messed up the Nokia phones *sigh*), then run it the through the proper Kindle website to get published, key-in a few pieces of info, and there I have it, a self published book bearing my pen-name.
It’s the simple things in life that truly matter. *content sigh*.
Of course when I go to put the book together and sell it, I’m not just going I hand it out for free. That would defeat the point, then again, I’m not going to charge an arm an a leg, because first off, I’m a young and new writer who isn’t exactly sure of herself in the first place, so, no fear, it’ll definitely be affordable, and secondly I’m unknown so I obviously am more than likely not to rake in the dough just because of a few random poems on varying subjects.
I can assure thought that you, my readers, will definitely be the first to know when it comes out.
Secondly, I’d like to see if I could possibly manage writing a short story.
Gasp! Yea, I just said that.
See, I can’t really write fiction. This makes me wonder how I managed to force it out of myself for only necessary assignments for school in my elementary years…which in turn makes me wonder how I wrote this one little story about a dog and a chicken who were best friends, back when I was 9 years old in second grade. Apparently it was so amazingly wonderful, it got put in my permanent student file for my elementary school years. I remember there was a special parent-teacher conference because I had apparently done so well in the assignment *shrug*
Can’t say much about it besides that, because I don’t remember anything about the story besides that and I think something about a dog-catcher the two were trying to escape….just a small blur to me there.
Bedsides, to me it wasn’t a big deal because it was just another class assignment I was required to hand in; I was a nine year old girl. I was in school. I did what the teacher asked. I saw no importance whatsoever.
Usually in stories, the plot line escapes me, though more often I just usually become completely disinterested and abandon the idea all together. When I write poems though, I need not leave a definite ending. And I can start in the middle of something if I want. I don’t have the restraint of linearly timed events in poems, and that’s probably why I can write so many and not feel weighed down by one thing.
I have a very quick, very simple plot line in place, so I think I might be able to pull off a short story.
I’m not entirely sure, but we’ll see, and if I ever do write it, to the Kindle store it goes!
Third idea: Esty shop. Have been wanting to do this for YEARS, ever since I heard if it when my older godbrother, whose 3 years older than myself, said he was trying to set one up for his art.
He mostly draws, and am I jealous of his drawing, or am I jealous?
The answer? Heck ya!
The guy can draw anything!
It’s just not fair.
So whenever I’m over my godfamily’s house, I always try to get a mini-art lesson from him.
My fourth and final idea is a big one. Like, huge. Amazing. And hopefully, inspiring.
You know how you’ll hear about these wiz-kids into their 20’s (like me) who aren’t even through college yet (no. Im not in, nor have ever went to college.)?
They’re these real tech savvy guys and they want to make this awesome start-up app or program that helps people in some way, or create a better service?
Yea. I want to do that.
Differences? I’m a girl.
I don’t have a college education to any extent.
I am not a wiz-kid, I’m just good at using tech and the Internet because, hello! I am part of Generation Y aka Generation I, short for “Internet”.
I was born the year Internet went public, allowing anybody with a computer and a cord hook up to the World Wide Web.
The Internet went public in 1994 and us kiddies born from the early 80’s to late 90’s know our way around tech and the web….on a funny but true side note, we may not like to put our phones down, but at least we grew up using our imagination and playing with toys and not staring for years on end at phones or computers.
Just sayin’.
Back on track: I may be a girl without much in knowledge or tools, but I would love to be able to build an app.
And I don’t even need to use code.
All I really need to do is Google a website for app creation, grab a computer, and I’m code free and ready to go.
Or at least I think I am.
I hope it’ll be at least relatively easy, as this is the goal I see see as hardest to achieve and put together.
I want to share the idea of it, but I refuse to give anyone any ideas.This is mine and I am so keeping this under wraps so I can make it…though I am willing to say it helps people and would be non-profit.
Okay, so maybe I’m dreaming big on doing anything like that, but it’s something I feel people would appreciate, especially since I’m one of the target audience members I intend to aim to.
Yea, Im having one of those “I wish this or that existed” kind of moments.
So sue me. I haven’t had much in the way of dreams, so this means something.
Well, now I’ll close this lovely little post of mine, and throw some poems out there.
Everyone be safe, have fun, and never, whatever you do, text and drive.
Drive or drink and.
(Or drink and drive.
Haha, just thought I’d throw in one last dash of humor for good measure ;] But seriously though, no drinking and driving. )
Bye!
Fourth of July & Apologies: Accepting Them, Belief, and Forgiveness
Happy Fourth of July!!
Or early Fourth, not that it matters, I have no plans (ugh), I figured I’d put this up for ya to enjoy now, since I’m sure most of the people currently reading this have more important things to do tomorrow.
Either way, my fellow Americans know exactly what I mean: hot dogs. Hamburgers. Cookouts. BBQ grills. The scent of charcoal (which is what I’d rather have than gas/propane, thank you very much because my uncle used to be the expert at grilling (the man knew meat), and actually my Godfather does a pretty awesome job at it too, even though we haven’t been over in Lord-knows how long *sigh* what a shame.). Also, baked beans. Potato salad. Annoying relatives that drive you insane. Cream corn casseroles. Paper plates, plastic bowls and utensils. Cousins you’d never trade. Fireworks. Lakeside sunsets. Heat…ugh the heat; and humidity if you live in the South (humidity makes it a million times worse!!). Did I mention the sunburns, flies during the day, and mosquitos at evening? (Btw iOS users, I don’t know the name of the app, but there is an app that does fireworks & is free which doesn’t require an Internet hook-up, thanks to the handiness of my younger sister; she found it and we checked it out; I vote that over mosquito bites and going deaf. )
Anyways, I haven’t posted for a few days, seeming as I’ve had quite a few developments over the past few days. Some good. Some bad. Some I really have to weigh out.
And seeming as I didn’t have plans for the Fourth, and my best friend’s birthday falls one day then the next, I was invited to her house for what I know would’ve been an amazing party. Her parents are great, I would’ve met her new puppy (an adorable chihuahua mix with these adorable dresses my bff got her from a pet store by Walmart (okay, so Walmart apparently did something right for once)).
I don’t even have to think about it to be depressed. Just knowing it is bad enough. Torture, actually.
There is literally no reasonwhy I shouldn’t be allowed to go.
But apparently the reason I can’t go, was caused by me months ago.
I just didn’t even go there.
I didn’t feel like arguing the point that it hasn’t stopped me from going places form here to Kingdom-come in the months since February.
This is July.
I wish I could say “get a grip; I’m standing upright and walking by myself, granted I don’t feel physically *amazing, not that I ever really did lol.
Whatever.
My friend is a GENUIS. Tuesday she had called with that and an…offer to help me get ok my feet (which a lot of people would be happy for me to do, they want me to…but I’m being…delayed. Purposely. I’m convinced of that now. Many people have said this. I agree after a long and thoughtful period of careful meditation on the matter.
Also, this is the season for Cancer (include me!!) so if I ever seem moody, then you know why, deal with it. Lol I’m just kidding…sort of…? Whatever. ;P
Back to July 4; I was once told by a Brit, that “Fourth of July” is the proper and correct way of saying July 4th.
So apparently every single American is wrong every day, except our beloved Independence Day, that celebrates our 238th year of freedom from the Redcoats.
…And yet, like them, we call it the Fourth of July? Yea, freedom alright. *eyeroll* I say, at least I don’t stick random u’s in whatever word I feel like. Idiots… (Just kidding, no offense to any Brits reading. All in good fun, right? *nervous laugh*😅
Oh hey wow! I smell someone making coffee! Woo!
Seriously though, I’m on a coffee detox because lately I’ve been really agitated and getting shaky cause I’m getting addicted again; darn shame cause I love the stuff (It’s expensive but Starbucks and Seattle’s Best is sooo worth it. I could drink those two black if I had to. Don’t even need a sugar it honey in them. All others? Yea I’ll take extra creamer and sugar, unless it’s really super crappy then it’s unfixabke). Wish I had decaf; I’d drink the stuff all day!! Woo!
Ya, and about the detox part? No. It’s not going well. ):
Sorry for that serious digression (I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned I do that, and if I haven’t then here: I Go off track. Sorry. I’ll get back to the real subject…eventually. Haha), it happens.
Anyways, I only noticed this last month in June…and I’m starting to think maybe you (yes you, the You who’s reading this very post) just noticed that when I mentioned it.
Okay, so maybe some of us *cough* Americans *cough* are a tad slow at noticing these things.
Also, a quick fact I learned recently: the U.S. is one of 5 countries who still use Fahrenheit as a measure of temperature.
I saw that and was suddenly embarrassed.
It’s one of those “only in America” moments that are happening more and more often.
Quite sad. *sigh*
Anyways…♪♪♪
Oh, one more point I’d like to get across before I give ya a poem or two and spilt: accepting apologies, belief, and forgiveness.
This is a big deal, people; major.
Life lesson major, in fact.
Apologies:: if the situation strictly requires, or may help you, say the specific words, “I am sorry.”
Even if you have a rule of not ever uttering those words, SAY IT. A lot of people say it and don’t care, but you cannot believe how annoying it is to find a person who won’t.
I know a person like that.
He’s stubborn. And no, I don’t forgive him. Nope. Still don’t. I said I accepted the apology; that’s it.
I even pointed that out to him. I specifically said, “if you didn’t notice, I never actually forgave you the last time, and I don’t now. And I don’t believe you. So I won’t forgive you.” I said it (okay, I typed it, but that’s beside the point).
Thus, acceptance of an apology does not imply forgiveness or belief.
End of that story.
Belief:
Not as easy as some people think.
Not as easy as youwould think.
Most times I automatically can point out who I can and cannot believe.
Having to learnit, is a tough deal.
I learned this with the apology I was offered.
I don’t believe him.
When the same reasonis given one two many times, it becomes an excuse.
Especially if you really don’t know a person. That’s when you should remember that that is when trust is being built, especially if they tell you everything and you tell nothing.
Regardless of whether or not there are trust issues, even if trust issues are claimed, “reasons” mean nothing.
Until you’ve been friends and talked your hearts out, until the friendship is built to loving each other, reasons are excuses, and we all know excuses are pathetic.
(Quite frankly, I was more inclined to believe his snake ate the phone before the broke/borrowed wifi thing). *skeptical look*
Forgiveness:
It’s like poetry and love; not for the faint of heart.
I’ve said most of what I wanted to cover in Apologies and Belief, but I’ll add a couple side notes.
Don’t do it if you think the problems gonna happen again.
Especially don’t do it if you know it’ll happen again.
Never fully believe those you can only accept apologies from, so it goes without saying (though I’ll say it anyways), never forgive those you don’t forgive.
There y’all have it. Fourth of July (which leads right back to the British), apology acceptance, belief and forgiveness.
Now, a poem that has a lovely patriotic background (I managed to throw that together (aww! gee, thanks for the compliment, no prob at all! )) that I actually had written for Memorial back in May (woo! It’s a blog Throwback Thursday!! (cause its Thursday, duh)) that was actually a part of a word challenge from Instagram. I personally, am not a huge patriot, though these holidays have a significant meaning to me because I had family who served in WW2 (all the way there and back, wounds and trauma quite evident) and an uncle in Vietnam (though never deployed).
P.S. It’s signed “@words_with_feeling” because that was my old username for Ig. So…yeaaaa…
In Recent News…
Right now, there is a pretty evil thunderstorm going on.
It’s raining quite hard and there is some bad lightning happening.
Yesterday was super frustrating, between having a bad day personally because I was highly irritable and agitated, family and feeling played by someone who calls themselves a friend.
I don’t know who I should or shouldn’t believe anymore, granted I do know very few who I know won’t hurt me.
Can my faith in him be restored? Only time will tell. I don’t want to seem like a not nice person (I’m trying to not say off-color things on here). I’m just hurt.
They say only you can give someone permission to hurt you…I should’ve watched myself better. My own fault I guess. I’m talking to him (sort of) but it doesn’t mean forgiveness; just means I want answers…we all want answers don’t we? That’s what I’m looking for.
*Sigh* Im not quite sure what else to say…hmm…
Anyways, here’s a little something I had posted recently on my Instagram:
Me In a Nutshell Otherwise Known As, I Am Imperfect and Anyone Who Claims Otherwise Obviously Doesn’t Know Me
So, I found this and it’s true, along with a zillion other things that are similar to it…
My Random Randomness
Lol so yea, I just love how I accidentally deleted my first post here; quite typical of me though.
I usually have only small ideas of what the heck I’m ever doing. xD
If I do have a idea I’m really into, I won’t stop, but I usually crash and burn so that rarely turns out decent. /:
I remember I had this joke with a girl back a few years ago because I get random and slightly air-headed at times, and the joke was that I’m blonde-at-heart. Lol and that’s just hilariously true xD
I still use that joke myself, even though we’re not friends anymore.
That’s, uhm…that’s about it.
See, that was random.
Then again, my being random is probably just a byproduct of me being a twenty-something year girl. Or not. I don’t know.
Anyways, I’m trying to keep this blog more about my poems (if you want to call them that) than anything else, but obviously there will be some digression mixed into it.
And that Broken Words series I was talking about, well I’m over the whole situation completely. Sometimes I just have to write everything out of my system to forget it so…and I’m horrible at series anyways (thus, I do not write stories of any length, because I lose the motivation and I’m horrible at plots), and I usually get over whatever I’m feeling quick enough. *shrug*eyeroll*
RIP Michael Jackson
RIP Michael Jackson. ✌
I found this ‘Moonwalk Slide’ background yesterday, and today I received this notification from iHeartRadio.
Hats off to one of the nicest and most talented celebrities of our time, the King of Pop. ❤
🎶🎶💛🎀✨🎧🎤💛🎶🎶
Gut Feelings, aka Intuition
So, about my gut feelings: I get a lot of them.
I can look at some people for 10 seconds and deem whether they’re a good and nice person or not.
This had happened many times, but I said to myself, “No; wait. Get to know them because you might be wrong.”
Everytime I’ve gotten to know someone who I sensed was trouble, they all have turned out to be trouble.
Thus, the acutely attuned intuition I inherited from my mother and grandmother has been right every. Single. Time.
Good for me, because I know who not to get close to, even though I have gotten the ‘bad person alert’ gut feeling mixed with simple butterflies of nervousness, which had happened exactly one time with some neighbors who are wonderful people and I love them dearly…just don’t talk religion with them. -_-
That, and I can also sense trouble coming; a lot if times I have have gut feelings of bad things happening, then that situation passes and seems okay; well, it’s not. What that means is that the bad part is coming, and it’s coming quick.
I figured I’d learn thus after the first 5 times, but I still haven’t paid close enough attention to it.
I look back and I see all those situations and I want to facepalm myself because it was so obvious, but it obviously wasn’t obvious enough for me. (A lot of the time subtle hits fly straight over my head and I hear none of what is being said between the lines, but that’s a-whole-nother subject to go into 😜)
Words of a Brunette 